Emmett's Adventure's as a Nomad
by cullenwannabe913
Summary: Emmett crosses the line with a chemistry mishap and gets kicked out of the house, these are his adventures as a Nomad
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N: this takes place after Breaking Dawn,)**

**DISCLAIMER: I promise to return Stepenie Meyer's character's when I'm done having fun with them, so don't sue me :)**

Emmett moments!!!!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Edward's POV

Finally everything was quite, my family and I were enjoying peaceful and silent pastimes, Alice designing (of course) on her laptop, Esme creating elaborate plans for Renesmee's room,

Carlise deep in medical research, Renesmee was asleep dreaming of being in our beautiful meadow, Bella and I were watching her sleep, Rosalie's eyes couldn't seem to stop admiring her so

called "beautiful face of perfection" quoting Emmett, speaking of Emmett I couldn't exactly figure out what he was doing from his thoughts, _carefully, carefully wait the green with the red _

_or the orange with the purple? Oh wel- WHOOPS! Uh oh I don't think that is supposed to happen, Dang it! I'm soooo dead if this explodes _huh WAIT!!! Explodes as in Kaboom? Ah Emmett

can be such a retard some times- my thoughts were cut off by Alice's yell "NOO! Emmett Don't d- BOOOM!!! CRACK! Magenta liquid steamed through the ceiling, ah Emmett was never

could in chemistry always screwin' things up, well it wouldn't be the first time he totally destroyed this house with chemicals, now I could hear anger and some confusion, from Rosalie I

heard _what the heck was that? oh no! EMMETT! Ahh I can't believe he did this again! _Then from Esme who was Really mad and sad _ EMMETT WILL PAY FOR THIS!! Oh no my poor house I _

_worked so hard on it… AHHHHH! Why does he have to be so stupid all the time!!! _ Also from Bella _dear god PLEASE tell me Emmett didn't try to do Chemistry again! Of course that's just _

_the way Emmett is I guess we just have to accept him, idiotic choices and all, oh well I'll help Esme clean up, I'll bet she's really upset… _also from a very confused Renesmee who just woke

up _I laid my palm on Momma I only remembered the big boom so I replayed that for her, she answered me out loud_ "oh that's nothing you need to worry about now, honey just go back to

sleep" _I yawned and laid back down, then suddenly I was on a cloud which made me even more confused until I realized I was asleep so I let my unconsciousness take me to my dream _

_world… _Carlise was already taking charge of the plans to fix the damaged area, Alice was full of apologies for not seeing this incident sooner, and Jasper was overwhelmed with the sudden

change in the moods of all of us, and Emmett was cursing and yelling at himself while thinking _that was SICK! Especially when it turned black then blew up! That was soooo cool! Ugh now _

_I have to go explain then get yelled at, sigh the story of my life, but life would be boring without adventure… _now everyone was coming to conclusions of what should be done, Esme

shouted at Emmett "That's it mister, I'm putting my foot down!!!", that was when Alice's thoughts turned to a vision, Esme had already made the decision the vision was harder than me

and clearer than glass, Emmett would be taking a leave of absence from this house hold, and very soon, But when?

**(A/N: Was it terrible? okay? these are the things I need to know! I have a plan and it will get better, but if your only hobby is hating Fan Fiction and writing mean reviews, write what ever you must, but otherwise have a happy day! Peace Out- cullenwannabe913 **


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N: welp here's the second chapter, enjoy!)**

**Disclaimer: well let's see I own absolutely nothing of any value whatsoever and Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga, life's so unfair ******

**Chapter 2!!!!!! Kicked out!**

Emmett's POV

Aw crap, everyone hates me now, especially Esme. Here she comes now with my punishment, great(sarcasm) "EMMETT CULLEN!!!!! I TOLD YOU IT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA! I AM BANNING YOU FROM THIS HOUSEHOLD UNTIL YOU LEARN TO LISTEN AND BEHAVE YOURSELF!" woah I didn't see that coming, just as I thought my own family can't take my Emmettlyness "AM I CLEAR?" psh she'll never have the guts to kick out one of her own children, she's such a mom, I decided to play along "uh yeah, I guess s-soo…" What the bleep? Emmett Cullen does NOT stutter, oh but she looked so intimidating, that is another personal rule, nothing and nobody is intimidating! She cut off my self-discipline session with a reply "good" finally she stopped shouting "Your bags should be packed by midnight tonight" her expression told me she wasn't kidding "WHAT?!!! YOUR KICKING ME OUT?!! FOR REAL?" I was outraged! "precisely" she replied, Alice nodded confirming the future, stupid pixie. "I CANNOT BEILIVE MY FAMILY IS ABONDONING ME! I'LL STARVE TO DEATH!" Edward the know-it-all mind reader cut in "Emmett we're immortal, and we drink blood" oh yeah I forgot about that "oh right but still!" I was losing my audience as they walked away in victory of ditching me, my last and only hope left was my wife "Rose, you'll stay with me right?" I asked in a sweet innocent tone, she laughed "yeah right" and walked off giggling. Hmph I don't need those weak losers anyway, I'll just leave and wait 'til they come back begging for me to come back.

**(A/N: ok this chapter is dedicated to diehardTWIhard! Yay! Thanks again for favoriting! Canada rules!) **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: jeez one review might be nice ******** please with a cherry smothered in chocochocochip frosting a dash of vanilla syrup and then deep-fried until golden brown! PLEASE!!!!!! If you are reading this you may want to know that if I don't get one review then I'm shutting down this STORY! So anyway on with the chapter)**

**DISCLAIMER: you know the drill, blah blah blah-I don't own Twilight- blah blah blah Stephenie Meyer does, ******

**Previously in chapter two: Emmett got kicked out, "**. Humph I don't need those weak losers anyway; I'll just leave and wait 'til they come back begging for me to come back.

**Chapter three!!!!! ALL ALONE**

**Emmett's POV**

I stalked away toward the garage with as much dignity as possible knowing they'd be desperate for my presence tomorrow. Once in my super-awesome Jeep, I picked up my ipod to plug it

in, but accidentally crushing it into gazillions of pieces. I was mad, I liked my ipod and now it was a pile of broken technology. In my fury I turned on the engine and floored it, then in my

attempt to throw it in reverse I accidentally slammed the steering wheel to the right and my vehicle being on the far left, I drove over the other cars destroying them ALL beyond repair,

crap, well this whole movin' out thing hasn't gone too well so far let's see I've already crushed my ipod and totaled 6 cars. I left before I could break and/or destroy anything else. I drove to

my favorite restaurant (you may be wondering at this point "What the hell is a vampire doing at a restaurant?" and the answer is eating food, duh) called "Greasy Grub for Cheap". I

walked in and ordered the usual, six Chubby Cheeseburgers and a half gallon of Mountain Dew, one time, about a week and a half ago Rose had said "Way to go unnoticed Emmett, no

human can consume that much food or drink, you do know your going to barf that all up later, right?" I had said " 'course I know that" in reply she rolled her eyes.

I paid, left, and started on the road again that's when I started feeling queasy, I kept driving until PLUHAH I puked up everything on the drivers seat of my car, "DANG IT!!" now my car

was going to smell like crap, how wonderful I thought sarcastically. I decided to go to Chucky Cheeses, when I got mad at a children's arcade game I lost it and punched through the screen,

I didn't think anyone would notice so I stayed and played some more games, that's when I heard a cop say "Put your hands where I can see them" I turned around I was surrounded by a

dozen police officers, I sighed, more rotten luck, you'd think I was Bella or something. They took me to jail.

That night after waiting for all the other felons to fall asleep, and not a second two soon my cell mate had been driving me crazy, you'd think all he could do was talk, while I sulked in a

corner he blabbed on, he was mid sentence when He abruptly fell to the ground asleep, anyway I blasted an arm through the wall, waking up my cell mate, he started to speak "What

happene-" I decided he deserved a concussion, so with a quick slap I knocked him to the ground. I walked out of the hole I made and began home; I decided I had let my family worry long

enough.

Alice's POV

I was partying like the pixie I was, when suddenly a vision ran through my mind

_~Vision~_

_Emmett knocks on the door of the Cullen's house, Rosalie opens the door wide for half a second then slams it shut again, a few seconds later Esme answers the door again and starts an _

_apology before she sees who has arrived, "oh I'm terribly sorry Rosalie can be quite rude- EMMETT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!?" Emmett answers her question "well I'm here to relive _

_you of your sadness" Esme is confused "What are you talking about young man?!" Emmett replies, "I know you missed me a lot and you are probably still mad about me leaving in the first _

_place, and I'll bet you're still angry about the car thing…" Esme will reply with "Actually we haven't missed you, all we've done is party since you left, and what car thing?" Emmett _

_hesitated "uh well um… I kinda…" the rest comes out in a rush "I totaled your cars please don't kill me" Esme's facial expression turned from confused to furious "AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_YOU!" she spat, and jabbed a finger toward him and continued to yell, "YOU HAVE RUINED EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!" Emmett whimpers then starts "b-but I think I ca-" Esme cuts him off_

_"NO!! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!! BEFORE YOU RUIN THIS PARTY TOO!!!!!!" Emmett grimaces, but obeys. He slouches off to his over-sized Jeep_

_~end of vision~_

AHHHHH!!!! I couldn't believe he killed my Canary Yellow Porsche! Edward, who had seen my vision too, was even angrier, I could convince him to not kill Emmett, but why should I?, I

heard a knock, I didn't feel like experiencing this AGAIN plus I didn't want to be here when everyone else found out about their beloved vehicles, I told Edward to help Jasper calm down the

others then went to the garage to see the damage done to my lemon-colored car, it was bad, beyond repair somewhere in the range of 5,000 to 7,000 dollars worth of replacement, and

mine was the least damaged. I sighed and ran at immortal speed to my favorite place, the mall, and began spending my way to contentment.

Emmett's POV

I arrived at my house, and I was glad to be away from the god-awful stench. I decided it would be best to knock first, so I did, _knock knock crack-_ oops I chipped off a chunk of wood, so I

put my hands behind my back to prevent further damage. Rose answered the door I was expecting her to pull me into a kiss and whisper "I missed you sooo much, never leave again" but

instead she took one look at me and slammed it shut, ah I get it, she's mad about her car, she'll get over it. I waited patiently, finally Esme opened the door , and began her apology "oh

I'm terribly sorry Rosalie can be quite rude- EMMETT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!?" what kind of a question is that? Didn't she know why I came? Oh well I'll reply anyway "well I'm

here to relive you of your sadness" she looked pretty confused "What are you talking about young man?!" didn't she know she was sad 'cause I left? Oh she must be so distressed she can't

even recognize her own feelings, I guess I had to explain "I know you missed me a lot, and you're probably still mad about me leaving in the first place and I bet you're REALLY mad about

the car thing…" I trailed off, she STILL looked confused then she looked a little guilty "Actually we haven't missed you" WHAT?!! They didn't miss me??! But Esme continued "all we've

done is party since you left" oh now I could faintly make out the sound of dancing and music, why were they partying, then the truth came crashing down on me, they were partying

because I left, that's **really** sad, I struggled but managed to keep my voice steady, she still wasn't done talking, "and what car thing?" Aw crap, they really had been so busy partying they

hadn't looked in the garage, now I had to tell her, I didn't know how to start or finish, so I stuck to my motto, when in doubt, stall until help arrives, I began "uh well…um…I kinda" no help

was coming, so much for my motto, I guessed I was just going to have to say it straight, I quickly confessed "I totaled your cars please don't kill me" I was hoping for a motherly "we would

never kill you, sweetie" then a reassuring hug, but I knew by her as-black-as-death colored eyes she wanted nothing more than to murder me then and there, I braced myself for the vocal

part that went with that expression, I thought I could take anything, "AHHHHHHH!!!! YOU!!!" she practically spat at me, I was wrong I couldn't handle this, I did something I had never

done before, I whimpered, I tried to protest with my now weak voice "b-but I think I ca-"she cut me off, not noticing or caring about my fear "NO!! GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE BEFORE YOU

RUIN THIS PARTY TOO!!!!!" I, Emmett Cullen was actually scared, not of grizzly bear, but my own mother, that was pathetic, but I did as I was told and, with a hunched back, I dragged my

feet to my Jeep, I drove as I made plans, I needed to cheer up so I decided where I was going next: the happiest place on Earth, aka: Disney World.

(A/N: ok,ok, I know that was a really long chapter, to be presise 1540 words, what happens when you mix Emmett Cullen, the manliest vampire alive with Disney World? One word:

trouble, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! Or else dundunduduuuuh!) :D


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N: YAY! I got a review! So this story will go on!! This one is for violetcara!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)**

**Emmett as a Nomad chapter 4!!!!! Disney world!**

**:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D**

Emmett's POV

I was off to Disney World when I got hungry, so I went to Greasy Grub for Cheap and ordered something a little bit different this time, I got five I-Have-A-REALLY-Strong-Stomach

"Chicken" sandwiches and 8 Liters of blue berry blast Kool-Aid, I finished off my meal in less than 3 minutes, then hopped in my car, started speeding away then you'll never guess what

happened next, I felt a roll of Nausea I knew was going to barf any second so I slammed on the break, let go of the steering wheel, and then flew forward and of course blasted through the

roof of my poor abused Jeep and peuked up blue liquid with white clumps of chicken or whatever the crap I ate on the front of my car. I cursed REALLY loud and as if things could get any

worse, I forgot that I was in the middle of the road and some jerk drove his freakin' blue (precisely the color of my up-chucked blue sugar water aka: kool-aid) car right into my sad, sad

Jeep that wouldn't sell on EBay for 23 cents at this point, He was barley conscious after slowly making his way out of his broken car, blood everywhere this didn't bother me the smell of his

blood made me want to throw-up some more, it was disgusting, anyway so he started to speak as he approached my car, "I'm really sorry man, I'm Mike Newton- what the hell! did you

peuk on your car?" I decided to lie "uh nooo, it's a um uh my car uh is sick, it peuked on itself, yeah it has um" I racked my brain for a disease "Spanish Influenza" I said, I just used that

cause I remembered Eddie saying something about that "um okay then, uh what's your name?" I answered truthfully "I'm Emmett Cullen" he started again "well I'm gonna call a tow-

truck now, Emmett" he took out an out-dated cell phone and dialed, I wanted to get to Disney World "Well I'm out, I gotta go, bye uh Mike" I said but he nagged "wait but how are you

going to get there?" duh what an idiot "I'm a vampire silly" oops Esme and Carlisle said they would take my video games away if I said that to a human, I knew the best way to fix this was

to eliminate the human, so I quickly smashed his face into the road before he could finish his sentence "What the-" Smash! I ran off with a quick good bye to my dead Jeep and dead Mike.

I finally got to Disney World, and I _tried_ to wait in line to buy tickets patiently but ended up cursing and threatening a few employees, I was next when I heard a familiar phrase "Put your

hands where I can see them" crap I was almost in the park too "DANG IT! NOT AGAIN!!!!" they pushed me to their police car, I got in obediently, but halfway there, when they weren't

looking, I pushed out the door, landed on my feet, and ran back to Disney World while thinking _suckers ,_I eventually made my way in the park, that's when the magic began. First I dashed

over to the souvenir store where I went to buy a pair of adorable Mickey Mouse Ears but when I asked kindly the sales person just laughed until I growled "I'm serious" she tossed them to

me and ran away screaming "AHH JUST TAKE THEM !! DON'T HURT ME!!!!" she gave them to me for free!!! How nice, I put them on and stood in line for It's a Small World, when I was

getting in the boat the man in charge stopped me with "Unless you have a child you aren't permitted on this ride" I almost burst out laughing first I was a vampire and vamps couldn't

have kids anyway, even if Rose and I could we wouldn't well I wouldn't, Rose would, but they were smelly and small, I let out a giggle "Why the hell would I have kids? They're just stupid,

smelly, and whiny!" **(A/N: ok I would never say this, but apparently Emmett would) **every mom and kid looked at me and gasped, I was then escorted back out of Disney world…

Again sigh, I needed a disguise if I was gonna get back in, so I ran to the closest costume store grabbed a blond wig, some fake eyelashes, and make up, then I went to a department store

and bought a dress while the salesperson gave me a "Are you crazy?" kinda look, I went into a public bathroom and put on my disguise, I looked a tiny bit like Rosalie, I practiced my high

voice "Oh my like like God, I like totally broke a nail!", I thought I could pass as a girl, so I ran back to Disney World, people starred at me with frightened expressions , I got through the

line yet again, When the employee asked my name I spoke in a female voice "oh I'm Emmettela" I fluttered my over-sized eyelashes at him, he gagged, I asked " like do you wanna like go

out sometime?" he looked a little green, and he answered in a weak voice "uh no thanks, Emmettela, hold on a sec." with that he ran to a trash can and threw up, I walked away, swaying

my hips, I pretended to break an other nail, "Oh no!" then I stomped, snapping the heel off my yellow high-heels ,crap, oh well, I limped along flipping my hair around, until I reached the

Snow White ride where I got on, It started going REALLY slow I got bored so hopped off mid-ride, pushed through a wall and walked to a concession stand, I bought everything, and ate it

on a bench, then I hit all the concession stands in the entire park cutting off food supply for the humans who eventually left, the only people left in the park were grumpy(cause of

starvation), vampires, and the nifty moms who brought snacks in little plastic containers. I was about to get on another baby ride when I barfed on a little girl wearing a full on Cinderella

costume, she started to cry to her mom who was about to yell at me but then saw how I was dressed then just walked away mumbling "psycho", the little girl just glared at me with wet

eyes, I turned around to see someone I thought I would never have to see in my entire life…

**(A/N:** **Cliff-Hanger!!!! Review and you'll be rewarded with Chapter 5!!! Also thanks to my beta, editor, and best friend!! (you know who you are, I don't want to say **

**you're name unless you want me too, we need to make you a code name :D) ok well that concludes Chapter 4, oh I won't be able to update tomorrow, sorry relatives **

**are coming, It's probably not the best idea to update on Friday the 13****th**** anyway, but I'll update in 2, count 'em, 2 days!!!! Xoxoxox~ cullenwannabe913**


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N: SOOOO SORRY! Why I couldn't update sooner, well a here are few reasons, first: writers block, I hate writers block, it makes you want to strangle someone, **

**second: relatives, I was dragged (against my will I might add) to my mother's cousin's sister's daughter's house, and her daughter was in first grade and insisted that **

**I play dolls with her, anyway that sucked and thirdly: I had tons of homework, but now I'm on break for 10 days YIPEE! So maybe I'll update more often, also any **

**ideas? Feel more than free to review them to me, just think what you want Emmett the idiotic vampire to do, hmmm… the possibilities are endless!!! Use the evil **

**plotting part of your brain and you should be good to go!! ON WITH THE CHAPTER!!!!!!!)**

**DISCLAIMER: I only want three things in life: to own Twilight (currently unaccomplished), an Edward (currently unaccomplished), and 5 reviews (currently **

**unaccomplished) YOU can help me with the third, unless you are Stephenie Meyer then you can help me with the second, but if you're an Edward I'd start running**

_**before**_** you're attacked by teenage girls**

**Chapter five, The Genie!!!!!!!**

**Previously: ** I turned around to see someone I thought I would never have to see in my entire life…

**Emmett's POV**

**: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D**

I was face to face with a genie; I knew it was a genie because of his blue and white outfit. Oh crap, I thought, I was deathly afraid of Genies, when I told Esme a while back she simply said

"oh Emmett I promise you'll never see a genie" I had trusted her, and now I was mad _SHE LIED TO ME!!!!!!!! _I thought accusingly, well the past was done now I had to face my only fear

(besides pissed off Esme) I gulped, I had no idea what to do, in my head I listed the possibilities _ok let's see I can run home to Forks, and look like a baby that's out of the question, so I can _

_try to fight him, but genies are magical!! Oh jeez oh jeez, what do I do???! Maybe I can make small talk, that's probably the best option, virtually harmless _I spoke up "Hi, How ya doin'?

Nice weather we're havin'" this wasn't exactly true, we were having terrible weather but who cares?! Ooo he was going to reply! "Uh, not really, if you haven't noticed it's 107 degrees and

the air is wetter than… than I don't really know It's just wet okay!!!" wow this was one feisty genie "look man I don't have time for this I have a job to do, so if you'll excuse me…" he tried

to move around my manly figure but he failed I kept talking "Not so fast, and what job is it that you have to do?" I wanted the inside scoop "My job as a Disney Genie? What you didn't

figure it out with the costume? HA! You're an idiot, and in that outfit!" wait WHAT! He's not a real genie??? Whoa, did he just call me an idiot? No body calls Emmett Cullen an idiot except

Rose, I growled a menacing growl, he shrunk back, I let out a full on roar "ROAR!!!!!!!" he started to shake with terror, he spluttered "I-I I'm really s-sorry" This next part was priceless, A

few tears rolled down his cheeks, then he quickly dashed off, "That's right run away little fake genie, I showed him to mess with the super strong vamp named Emmett" well Esme was

right in the end, I was really glad I hadn't had to take on a real genie, not that I would have lost to him in a fight. I wondered what my family was doing right now…

**Jaspers POV (I wanted to mix it up)**

When Emmett left, I _thought _mylife was going to be hell with out my brother, I was WAY off, in reality I couldn't be happier to have him gone, good riddance. And no one else was sad

about his absence either. I was currently shopping with Alice; it wasn't my first choice in recreational activities, but it was hers I could feel that, and honestly I was so happy I would go

along with whatever anyone else wanted to do. Even though we had been shopping for _seven _hours I still went with my love into store after store

**Alice's POV (I like Alice)**

I spotted a gorgeous pink dress that would hug Bella's figure nicely, Ooo! I had to have those strappy Black shoes; they would look awesome on me! I hoped Jasper wasn't dieing of

boredom, probably not, you could see the pure joy lighting up his already bright, handsome, and happy face, this was most likely for the same reason all of our faces looked less glum,

Emmett hadn't been a part of our lives for a few days!!! I reluctantly pulled away from my husband to continue shopping, I grabbed a purple purse I knew Rose would like, a vision made

me momentarily pause, Rose would love it!! My vision was of her squealing with delight at her newly acquired bag, I was thrilled to have saved the unfashionable from clothes with no style

and ugly accessories yet again. I went forth with my quest to make the people of the world dressed 10 times better…

**Emmett's POV**

I started walking to the park exit after hearing this on the loud speaker "Due to violation of an employee's safety, and lack of visitors, Disney World is closing early, we apologize for any

inconvenience", After outside of the "Happiest Place on Earth" (yeah right, that was bologna, Happiest? More like Greatest-Waste-of-Timeiest) I started walking aimlessly when I walked

smack into the genie I saw at Disney World, he and a group of buddies. I smiled an evil smile ready to terrify this loser/impersonator. He grimaced in fright, but then smiled back, I was

confused and less confidant, what was this little demon planning? He spoke first "Well nice to see you again, still trying to find a new look, might I suggest one without anything girly!!"

they all laughed, I almost forgot I was still in my disguise, I quickly wiped the glittery beauty products off my face, tore off my blonde wig, ripped off the dress revealing my regular clothes

and kicked off the stupid shoes I crammed my feet into, I shot them death glares then replied "Thanks for the tip, Pal" stuffing my words with as much sarcasm as possible. He snapped

back "Oh and by the way, I'm a _real_ genie" My eyes widened in fear, a few of his friends snickered but I hardly noticed, I was too scared to care, he kept talking "But if you obey my

commands, I will spare you and grant you a wish" I liked the this deal because it seemed pain-free so I agreed "fine" the Genie kept going "First, my name is James, but you can call me

Genie James" a few found that amusing, he went on "Second, your wish, what do you want?" I thought then realized I missed my family "I wish that my family will take me back" they all

burst out laughing, one even fell to his knees, another muttered "I'm not surprised they abandoned you" when they silenced Genie James continued "Your wish has been granted" yay! I

looked forward to seeing my family again, especially Rose, "Now I command you to do the Macarena!!!!" Genie James said, I complied, they laughed their heads off, when I finished Genie

James gave me the next command "ok now sing the Barbie Girl song" I replied with an "ok". Well here goes nothin'

"Hi Barbie!

Hi Ken!

You Wanna Go For A Ride?

Sure, Ken!

Jump In!

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World

Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic

You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere

Imagination, Life Is Your Creation

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World

Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic

You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere

Imagination, Life Is Your Creation

I'm A Blonde Single Girl In The Fantasy World

Dress Me Up, Take Your Time, I'm Your Dollie

You're My Doll, Rock And Roll, Feel The Glamour And Pain

Kiss Me Here, Touch Me There, Hanky-Panky

You Can Touch, You Can Play

You Can Say I'm Always Yours, Oooh Whoa

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World

Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic

You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere

Imagination, Life Is Your Creation

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh

Make Me Walk, Make Me Talk, Do Whatever You Please

I Can Act Like A Star, I Can Beg On My Knees

Come Jump In, Be My Friend, Let Us Do It Again

Hit The Town, Fool Around, Let's Go Party

You Can Touch, You Can Play

You Can Say I'm Always Yours

You Can Touch, You Can Play

You Can Say I'm Always Yours

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World

Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic

You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere

Imagination, Life Is Your Creation

I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World

Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic

You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere

Imagination, Life Is Your Creation

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah

Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh

Oh, I'm Having So Much Fun!

Well, Barbie, We're Just Getting Started!

Oh, I Love You Ken!"

I honestly didn't understand why they were imitating dieing cats; it took me awhile to realize they were laughing. Genie James said, "that was hilarious, well you can go" he shooed me off.

So Esme was wrong in the end, or was she? Maybe he was faking again, there was only one way to find out, see if my wish had really been granted, I ran to my house, and knocked I was

so excited when Edward opened up…

**(A/N: Ok that's it Please Review!!!!!!! That's all I ask of you, remember: Ideas anyone?!!! This chapter is for Shmel Patool!! I know what you thinking "what kind of a **

**name is Shmel Patool?" but it's kind of an inside joke and it's a code name for my Beta)**


	6. Chapter 6

**(A/N: Two Updates in a row!!!! How exciting, I still need ideas, I think I might start another Fan Fic. So I'll let you know when I do, I GIVE YOU CHAPTER 6!!!!)**

**CHAPTER 6!!!!!!!!!!!! LIAR!!!!!!!**

**Previously:** **I ran to my house, and knocked I was so excited when Edward opened up…**

**Disclaimer: I *sob* d-do not *pout* own Twilight *tear***

**Emmett's POV**

Already hearing my thoughts, Edward spoke, "Emmett it was a fake Genie, we aren't going to take you back at all if you keep showing up thinking we are going to give in." He closed the door in my face, I was depressed so I turned to mope somewhere else, when Alice reopened the door, I squeezed her into a big hug, then saw her face it was really annoyed she spoke "Emmett I just came here to tell you to stop making stupid decisions, because I have to see the outcome, and it's getting on my nerves, and it would be awesome if you could put me down" oops I forgot I was still crushing her puny body in the air, I dropped her on her feet then replied sarcastically "sure, I see what I can do" she snapped back just as angrily "thanks" I turned away, Now that I knew "Genie James" was just a human I had to get back at him for all the wasted terror he caused me, I just had to find him then I could put my recently imagined evil plans into action. Luckily I knew where to find him, Disney World, once there I got in line but quickly gave up and jumped over the gates at a speed not visible to humans. I went straight to the Genie James' area, when he saw me he screamed the girliest scream I have ever heard, then he tried to run away but accidentally tripped over his ridiculous outfit, perfect, I strutted over to his squirming body and simply scooped him up and walked out of the park. I brought him to a room with everything I would need for the punishment I had lined-up for this lucky fellow, I started "Well, well ,well if it isn't the little LIAR!!!!!" he protested "Come on!! I was joking, you know just messin' around" I wasn't going to go along with that "Oh I don't think that was you're original intention, and now I am going to give you what you deserve!" I told him what to do "first you must try to beat me in a Guitar Hero Duel!" "What kind of a punishment is that?" he asked, I replied with "I don't really know, I couldn't think of anything else" "ok whatever" I tossed him a guitar and picked up my own, we started to battle it out, I was losing _Must Rock HARDER!!!! _ I thought, Genie James won, I was furious, I crushed my guitar until it looked something like the pieces of my Ipod, I went over to the steel cage I was going to put him in and force him to watch 6 hours of Barney and Friend and totally destroyed it, Genie James just stared at me in shock and fear, I strode over to him and put on an evil grin "I _almost _forgot about the liar" I punched him with all my might all the way through the wall, all of the sudden he morphed into a huge vicious creature that could only be one thing, I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!!!! He was a real Genie after all! So Esme _and _Edward were wrong and I was right, that was a first! And Genie James was a liar that lied some more, but that was hardly the biggest question, which was, WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO TO ME?!! He started to speak "NOW WHO IS THE WEAK ONE?! MWAHAHAHAHA, TIME FOR YOU PUNISHMENT!!" I squeaked a cry, he was ten times the size of me and his eye's were darker then Esme's that one time!!!! At first I went for an approach that wasn't rash, I tried to start small talk…again "So you're a Genie and stuff, that's…cool" He chuckled evilly "You're even dumber than I thought!" that hit a nerve I went at him trying to tear him to dust, instead I flew right through him, he was like a ghost, I landed on my feet anyway, but then I an idea and it had a fair shot at success! These only came to me once and in a blue moon, I thought back to the last Genie related movie I saw and Aladdin came to mind, then I remembered that little lamp thingy, and I was in luck we were near Disney world and Aladdin was a Disney movie!! I ran at vampire speed to the Disney World Souvenir store, grabbed a plastic toy Aladdin lamp and threw it over the counter; the employee was the same lady who had given me the free Mickey Ears!!! She looked over then did a double take, her lip quivered, and she dashed away sobbing, "Take it! And leave me alone, ah now I have to go to therapy all over again…" I was overjoyed at this 100% discount, she just kept on giving, but I had a Genie to worry about. I sprinted back to Genie James and rubbed the lamp three times, it started to suck him up like a vacuum, "OH NOOOO!!!!!" he was fading "I'LL BE BACK!" and then he was gone; I let out a Homer Simpson "Woo-Hoo" With Genie James back where he belonged wherever that may be, things were lookin' up for a change.

**(A/N: YAY!!!! Emmett defeated Genie James!!! If you haven't already figured it out "Genie James" was like James in Twilight, very evil, and obviously Mike Newton (in the car crash) was like Mike Newton in Twilight, very annoying, like a mosquito, REVIEW!!!!!) **


	7. Chapter 7

**(A/N: Sorry for the late update! My dumb computer broke…again, sigh why can't it just work! I'm really frustrated, anyway this one was a lot of fun to write, truly a labor of love!!!!!! CHAPTER SEVEN!!! Tadah!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns what I only dream of owning, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, oh the list goes on!!!!!**

**Previously: ** With Genie James back where he belonged wherever that may be, things were lookin' up for a change.

**CHAPTER SEVEN!!!! I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Emmett's POV **

Genie James was a real Genie after all, I decided to go to my house and rub it in to the others, but I knew they'd never believe me so I was going to bring my free Genie Lamp as evidence, I arrived and knocked, Bella opened the door, "Emmett? Why are you here? You know this house is forbidden, everyone is going to be mad that you came back, but come on in" this was the first time I'd been allowed in since the chemistry incident, when they heard me enter, everyone started yelling at once this is what I heard "What the-How come you let him in Bell-AHHH GET OUT-what did I tell you-Uncle Emmett! -Ugh not you again-I said to leave-stop coming-Emmett you're craz-For a Vampire you have very low intelligence-What happened this time?" I started with asking for them to speak individually "Ok one at a time!" Edward went first "Emmett, like I said before, it was a fake Genie" I was sure I saw Genie James morph into a real Genie "No, I'm sure he was real, I even have his lamp to prove it" I showed them the lamp, they laughed, and Rose a little worried about my sanity said "Emmett, that is an Aladdin lamp toy" I guess I had to prove myself "Oh yeah? Well if that's so then explain this" I rubbed 3 times and out popped Genie James, he chuckled and my family gasped "I'M BACK!!!!! Hahahaha you made this waaay too easy I was ready to wait centuries before returning but I was only in there for a few hours!!!!!" now my family was furious "EMMETT!!! What the hell? Why did you let this guy back out of the lamp thingy?" "Well technically he's a Genie not a "guy"…" "WE DON'T CARE!!!!!" "Ok jeez calm down" "here let me fix the problem you caused!" Edward offered, I, being a gentleman sorta, declined the help; I was to manly for assistance in any way, shape, or form "no no no, Allow me" I rubbed the lamp three times counting out loud "One, Tw-" "SHUT UP!!!" they all yelled in unison, even Renesmee, "Fine" I finished the last rub and an other Genie came out this one was also male and had jet black hair, I tried again and one more came out this one was female with flame-like blood colored hair that fanned out like Medusa's snakes, just what we needed _more_ Genies, my family shot me death glares "ok I'm sorry for making things worse" I apologized, even for someone with my level understanding it was obvious they did not forgive me, the new Genies introduced themselves the male spoke first "Hello I am Genie Laurent" then the female spoke "I'm Genie Victoria" Genie James seemed to know them, I knew something had to be done and I wasn't going to wait patiently for the time to be right so I decided to take action "Please leave in peace" I asked politely, they laughed but it sounded similar to the sound you might hear when you pour lava on a mutant kitten that has enlarged vocal chords, when they finally stopped making the god-awful sound that had everyone else covering their ears, they crept toward us in an evil, I thought really hard then the answer that would save us came to me, BRAIN BLAST!!! I knew what I had to do, I burst out in song "Everybody makes mistakes

Everybody has those days

1, 2, 3, 4!

Everybody makes mistakes

Everybody has those days

Everybody knows what, what' I'm talkin' 'bout

Everybody gets that way

Everybody makes mistakes

Everybody has those days

Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' 'bout

Everybody gets that way, yeah!

Sometimes I'm in a jam

I've gotta make a plan

It might be crazy

I do it anyway

No way to know for sure

I figure out a cure

I'm patchin' up the holes

But then it overflows

If I'm not doin' too well

Why be so hard on myself?

Nobody's perfect

I gotta work it

Again and again

'Til I get it right

Nobody's perfect

You live and you learn it

And if I mess it up sometimes

Nobody's perfect

Sometimes I work a scheme

But then it flips on me

Doesn't turn out how I planned

Gets stuck in quicksand

But no problem can't be solved

Once I get involved

I try to be delicate

Then crash right into it

But my intentions are good, yeah yeah yeah

Sometimes just misunderstood

Nobody's perfect

I gotta work it

Again and again

'Til I get it right

Nobody's perfect

You live and you learn it

And if I mess it up sometimes

Nobody's perfect

I gotta work it

I know in time I'll find a way

Nobody's perfect

Sometimes I fix things up

And they fall apart again

Nobody's perfect

I know I mix things up

But I always get it right in the end

You know I do

Next time you feel like

It's just one of those days

When you just can't seem to win

If things don't turn out the way you planned

Figure something else out

Don't stay down, try again, yeah!

Everybody makes mistakes

Everybody has those days

Everybody knows what, what' I'm talkin' 'bout

Everybody gets that way

Everybody makes mistakes

Everybody has those days

Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' 'bout

Everybody gets that way

Nobody's perfect

I gotta work it

Again and again

'Til I get it right

Nobody's perfect

You live and you learn it

And if I mess it up sometimes

Nobody's perfect

I gotta work it

I know in time I'll find a way

Nobody's perfect

You live and you learn it

'Cause everybody makes mistakes

Nobody's perfect

(Nobody's perfect)

No no

Nobody's perfect!" it worked the Genies looked ready to crap themselves they were laughing sooooo hard, and I wasn't the only one who sang about halfway through Edward realized why I was doing this and started singing along, and because my family trusted him they sang too, while Genie James, Genie Laurent, and Genie Victoria were distracted by our performance we quickly rubbed the lamp causing them to disappear, and made our escape, once away my family praised me a little "uh that was probably the smartest thing you've ever done, but WHY DID YOU PICK THAT SONG?!!!" I answered, "I don't know! It just came to me" Carlisle was the one who spoke next "ok fine, but I have some news, Emmett you qualify for mental hospitalization but I couldn't do that to you" whew, I did NOT want to go to that place it creeps me out, Carlisle continued "so instead I signed you up for preschool"

I laughed out loud, he couldn't be serious but sure enough he stated "I'm not kidding, have a good time at Rainbow Sunshine Preschool, Rosalie will show you where it is tomorrow" I could not believe my family was sending me to PRESCHOOL!!!!!!!!!! Oh well I'll be out of there when my teachers realize how smart I am.

**(A/N: this chapter is dedicated to Violetcara!!!!!!!! For the preschool idea!!! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**

**This story has gotten 216 hits and only 4 reviews! 212 of you were to lazy to click that button, I mean you don't even have write more than "it's good" so clicked-de-click!**


End file.
